ATTN: RANDOM PPL FROM THE BLAGOBLAG
Below are some sample entries for your perusal as you decide whether friending me is a wise choice. No refunds.

If you live in Minnesota, you've probably heard about our Governor cutting aid to local governments and how your particular local government is scrambling to cut the local budget in response. I'm sure this kind of thing is going on in many counties and municipalities across the country, if not in response to dwindling state budgets then probably in response to dwindling property tax revenue.

Because I am a masochist, I continue to read the comments posted on my local paper's website by "regular" people, who, it turns out, are largely ignorant of what local government does, railing about why we can't just "cut all the welfare."

Ok, folks. Time for a civics lesson.

Even if you are a small-government type, the last, absolute last thing you want to cut is your local government. The ways in which your local government improves your daily life are almost immeasurable. Your local government provides a plethora of services that you take advantage of every day. I guarantee it. For example, here are the services paid for out of Minneapolis's General Fund - that is, the fund used for discretionary spending, which is the fund affected by the State aid cut - in descending order of percentage of the discretionary budget.

• Police services (44%)
  
• Fire services and emergency medical response (20.5%)
  
• Park services (14%)
  
• Transportation services - traffic signals, street lighting, signage, etc. (8%)
  
• Snow removal (2.5%)
  
• Criminal prosecution (2.5%)
  
• Bridge and road maintenance (2%)
  
• Community planning and economic development (1.5%)
  
• Health and family support services (1.5%)
  
• Housing inspections (1.5%)
  
• Civil rights enforcement and outreach (1%)
  
• Animal Control (0.5%)
  
• Revitalizing neighborhoods (0.5%)
  

Last time I checked, small government fanatics aren't so big on cutting police, fire, and ambulance services, which is what makes up the majority of Minneapolis's discretionary spending. To cover the currently projected $13 mil shortfall, we have to cut about 3.5% of the discretionary budget, which I guess would be super easy if we just stopped removing the snow and let all feral animals run free. Or maybe we could just let half of the city's stop lights fall into disrepair. I'm not saying there is no way to make the necessary cuts, but I am saying that people who think local government does nothing for them are idiots. If they really took a look at what their local government does for them, I bet an awful lot would suddenly find they have little stomach for budget cuts. But I guess since you've either got to cut the budget or increase the taxes and, as we all know, increasing taxes is THE DEVIL and, in fact, cutting taxes is the answer in every situation (Surplus: tax cuts! Recession: tax cuts!), I guess budget cutting is the only tool left in the box. Well, hope you enjoy your commute. At least you won't notice the potholes when there's a foot of un-plowed snow on the roads.

Oh and a special note for people who are super eager to jump on the government worker layoff/ wage freeze bandwagon: could you explain to me why, exactly, it should fall to the people who work for the government to shore up the budget? Taking a portion of a worker's every paycheck to pay for government services - there's a word for that. It's called a tax. Freezing government workers' wages so that the budget can cover the same level of services is more or less imposing a special tax on government workers so that you can still get your street plowed. Why should it fall mostly or primarily on the government workers to fund the services that all residents use? If you don't like the idea of service cuts and you are going to suggest wage freezes to make up the shortfall, you should at least consider property tax hikes first. And if YOU aren't willing to give up a larger portion of each of YOUR paychecks to keep the bridges maintained and the criminals prosecuted, then you must admit your hypocrisy in forcing local government workers to do the same. You're basically arguing that the very police officers whose services you can't bear to cut should pay their own way to provide their own service to your neighborhood.

The guys over at Penny Arcade have really confused their fans lately because they've decided to dabble in a little self- and audience- lampoonery, a dangerous thing in these thick-witted times. These and other events lead us to conclude that satire is, indeed, dead. This is what happens when no one reads Moliere or Swift anymore. (Yes, folks, I just defended The Canon; put your jaw back on).

This weekend, I will be participating in the C25K Virtual Race Weekend.

( What the heck is C25K? )
( What the heck is the Virtual Race? )
( Why the heck are you doing this? )

Poll #1183434 Smelling sweet
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 22

Do you like the first name your parent(s) gave you?

How about your middle name?

And your last name?

If you could/ had to change your first and/or middle names, what name(s) would you like?

Would you or did you change your last name upon entering a life-long partnership?

If you had offspring with a partner, what would be/ is your offspring's last name?

Comments, concerns?

Did you know that methane is 20 times more effective at trapping heat in the Earth's atmosphere than carbon dioxide is? (Too lazy to cite. Google is your friend.) Methane is the second largest contributor to global warming after CO2. You know where methane comes from, right? Cow burps! Yay agriculture!

P.S. Some of you may have thought, as I did, that cow flatulence was a source of methane, rather than cow eructation. This amazing website set me straight and also informed me that termites are the world's most flatulent animals!

Seriously, go to that website. It is hilarious and will teach you everything you could ever want to know about farts.

Science!

Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney said in an interview that his favorite novel is Battlefield Earth (by scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard) and everybody, including NPR and Slate, is tittering on about "what that means" about Mitt Romney.

Let me tell you what that means about Mitt Romney: He ain't got no taste in books. Are you listening, NPR? Mitt ain't got no taste in books.

Several things about this incident make me grumpy:

1) People such as Mitt Romney get to answer awesome questions like "What is your favorite novel?" and they squander the opportunity by naming a crap novel like Battlefield Earth or The Bible. (Whoops! I just called The Bible a novel!) Dude, just lie and say Gravity's Rainbow. It'll impress everyone and no one will quiz you on it because no one has read Gravity's Rainbow (certainly not anyone in the Washington press corps).

2) If you're going to tell the truth when you answer questions like this, bite the bullet and actually read some good books. I mean, dammit. People care about the kinds of books people like Mitt Romney read, and people like Mitt Romney don't even know enough to go get some taste in literature so that they don't lead the public astray by spotlighting crappy novels.

3) Of all the totally awesome science fiction out there, Mitt Romney loves Battlefield Earth? Come on, guy. People could have been talking about Asimov or Clarke or someone else this week instead of freakin L. Ron Hubbard, who gets more than enough media play as it is.

4) My next point was going to be that Mitt could have named any actual good science fiction novel and nobody would have cared about it or talked about it, which seems a shame to me. But now that I think about it, most classic sci-fi novels have profound political implications, almost all of which would have been rather odd for a Republican to have aligned himself with. So maybe that is why Mitt didn't read/ like/ mention Fahrenheit 451 or A Clockwork Orange or Slaughterhouse 5 or, hell, even Dune. Though perhaps a conservative could make a fair case for liking, say, The Martian Chronicles or maybe Brave New World, if he misunderstands them. Either way, maybe Mitt played the safe card by mentioning something written by a religious wacko. Due to his Mormonism, he's already been branded a religious wacko anway. If he had mentioned any other sci-fi, his conservative cred would have been in jeopardy as well.

I guess this all comes down to jealousy; I wish I had the power to start national discussions about books. I'd pick better ones than Battlefield Earth.

ginnyz For Prez In 08.
She Reads Better Books Than The Other Guys.

My long time readers will fondly recall a series I used to do wherein I share the first hit of a Google image search on some phrase that strikes my fancy. I discontinued this feature when the internet stopped amusing me, but the series returns today with aplomb. Without further ado...

( Google image search: Why does the internet suck? )

Poll #747659 The Proper Poll
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 23

Which is the proper way to protest a fascist parental decision?

Which is the proper way to end one's superstar career?

Which is the proper way to mount toilet paper?

Which is the proper drug for aspiring politicians?

Which is the proper pronunciation of "lolz"?

What should I name my band?